TOOLBOX:Friday the 13th-The Dater Who Wouldn't Die

Please refer to back blogs, such as "Owl in Iron Clad Panties" or "Return of the Toolbox"-because this entry is the 3rd in this series or sequel-you think the Godfather or Star Wars was good-nothing compares to this ending (hopefully, the ending).

As I was hiking with my man and my dog, I came back to the car to a very long, drawn out voice message from a toolbox from the past (or at least that's where I hoped he would have stayed). Within the first few seconds of his 5 minute message, my jaw dropped open-creating a stir with my man. "What? Who is it? What's going on?" Concerned as he was, I decided to play back the message and give us both 5 minutes of nonstop laughter.

Message:

"Hi Bree, it's Dick (name has been changed, to save him face, if he still has one). I was looking at my calendar and it is exactly one year ago today that I met you. I saw you across at the JBar (which I will never go back to) and as this Cuban spicy woman was shooting down my every word, I thought she could be my potential wife. I even wrote it down in my calendar."

It goes on to say that he was waiting for my "Anniversary call", but figured it would not come. Then continued to say a lot of things I ignored and then said something about my current relationship. "I hope you and your boyfriend are doing well...or maybe I don't". LOSER!

Anyway, to continue with the entertainment, I texted him back (God no, I'm not going to call him) and we continued on the same what I find entertaining path.

Long, yet somewhat more entertaining story short-it ended with me telling him that I found true love and him asking me if I thought we would ever get married and asking me if he could contact me to "plead his case". I'm not sure what was meant by that-but alas, and just like his MO-I have not heard since and I think it goes without saying, although I never do...Good Riddance to Toolboxes!

Seriously, is there going to be another Friday the 13th? TOOLBOX vs. DOUCHE BAG In Space :) Stay tuned to find out.

Nice Girls Finish Last 2 (As In Also)

"Nice guys finish last" huh? Well about the nice girls? They finish last too! Oh, I'm not talking about the "nice girls" that are described as "having a great personality" and in reality they're dogs...I mean, genuinely nice, cool, down-to-earth girls who get jerked around by a douche bag-that's the kind of nice girl I'm referring to.

If 2 wrongs don't make a right, than 2 nice people don't happen-because one person is always going to be a toolbox and more than likely (or in this situation, it's the guy). 

Welcome to GHE readers! Where it's told like it should be and the games people play, get called out! Why do guys drag you along? What's the point? There's more energy lost in that and more headache than just telling the girl, "Hey, I'M JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU." The book is out there guys, your secrets are told...women can, believe it or not, can handle the truth.

Give up the ghost-just as the infamous Jimmy Soul sang about "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife..." WAIT....that's not right-what did he know anyway???

If nice guys finish last, then I don't want to be first.

GHF Guest Appearance: Closed Doors

For a girl who is usually GHF 24/7, it is hard to put on the not-so-rose colored glasses from time to time. But since GHF and GHE really are one and the same, it's my turn to "come to the dark side".

I firmly believe, in the most obnoxious GHF way possible, that everything happens for a reason.....so let's take that to the GHE side and analyze.

We've all been that girl, well -- two girls actually -- the one who got dumped and the one who was there to console the dumped. We all have our heart broken friend's best interest in mind when we tell her things like -- "He does not deserve you!", "You can and will do better!", "It's for the best, even though it hurts right now!". We've bought her a drink, we've treated her to Cold Stone, we've escorted her to the mall for some retail therapy. If we have been dumped, we've been on the receiving end of this TLC.

There is no substitute for the understanding and support a good girlfriend can bring to a break-up. Chicks before dicks, right, ladies? We need our sisters to be our strength when all we feel like doing is eating chocolate and cursing the day he was born.

So, ladies -- when the dumper reappears, which he most likely will, do you tell your sister to take him back? Do you throw her out there to get hurt again? Do you give him the satifaction of thinking that she's nothing without him and that he's the one and only?

I have to admit -- the GHF side of me says "I'm not sure" while the GHE side is screaming "Hell, no!!!". Doors are closed for a reason. Move on. The past is just that -- the past. He's never going to change. Look at his track record. Why are you even considering this as an option?

We tell ourselves to give people a second chance -- to do what, I say? Break your heart all over again, hurt you and betray your trust? No thanks.

So -- keep the door closed and move on. Save yourself the heartache and the pain and inevitable "I guess I saw that coming". Close the door and open yourself up to a better future.....oh, wait, that's a topic for GHF to tackle.

text message: underused or overrated?

Don't get me wrong, I do love me some text messaging, but I must admit that it can get quite annoying, tedious, irritating, troublesome, irksome and I'll go as far as saying, vexatious (that's a nice sounding word)-all in all, these emotion(s) occur when texts aren't returned.

Gimme-A-Break (Nell Carter), you can accidentally call people from you pocket, but returning a text message, apparently is way too advanced (I mean considerate) for some people to do.

How difficult can it be? Step 1. Look at phone. Step 2. Notice the envelope icon. Step 3. Hit VIEW on your phone. Step 4. Read message and lastly, but this is the most difficult-so PAY ATTENTION. Step 5. REPLY, REPLY, REPLY.

Thanks and Happy Texting!

Then again, text messaging is just another lane on the new generation communication highway. You know the new generation where they actually don't have to talk to one another. Instead, they send text messages, instant messages, email messages, everything but actual mouth-to-mouth (or face-to-face) communication. 

I get it, text messaging can be impersonal, especially when it comes to someone you're looking to date or already dating. But, humor us please and just hit REPLY, REPLY, REPLY!

Once again, Happy Texting!

Never Look Back

When you've been out of commission for months and finally take the chance and decide to put your best skinny jeans on (dudes, don't act like some of you don't wear them) and go out with your friends to a local downtown bar, with no agenda and then lo and behold you actually meet someone who at the time has restored your faith in dating-mankind and all seems good for the next month or so and then all of the sudden you take your chances once again and unfortunately (due to long lines at another bar), go back to the bar where you met Mr. Right Now, only to find that he is there (thanks to my friends super-vision)-then you start to ponder, why didn't he bother to ask to meet up (no relationship-commitment implied). Well, do what us half-empty folks would do-chug your $6 beer in a plastic cup, run like hell to another bar and then play dumb if and when he calls. 

For the positive spin on this event visit www.isyourglasshalffull.blogspot.com