Really Wal-Mart? Again? Have you not learned your lesson from the billionth time you've done your ridiculous "After Thanksgiving Sale"-that maybe...I don't know...YOU NEED TO PROVIDE A BETTER WAY OF TACKLING THE CONSUMERS!!!!
I'm sorry, first off, I'm not a fan of the "hell mouth" also known as Wal-Mart anyway (I'm bias to Target, for obvious reasons), but every season it's the same story. Billions of people trampled and hospitalized after Wal-Mart lacks in providing sufficient security and now, you're dealing with one of these "victims" as being an 8-month pregnant woman. SMART!
Ok, so this blog isn't about Wal-Mart and how lame they are-but more about the disturbing fact that Religion and the Holidays are great ideas...in theory-they just have horrible execution. I'm not an Atheist, so put down your Christian torches-but I do believe that "Organized Religion" and "Holiday Spirit" are oxymorons...shall I explain?
Let's tackle the Holiday Spirit or lack there of. Once again, don't get me wrong, there is nothing that screams "Holidays" more to me than spending time with your family, in a cozy home, filled with love, memories and cinnamon smells coming from the kitchen. Sure the presents are nice, but the memories is what I'm after.
But it's difficult to get into the Holiday Spirit when a "Blue Hair" is honking at you in the parking lot and eventually gives you the finger or when there are the infamous Wal-Mart mishaps and of course the overall annoyance and anger in every one's hearts.
It probably doesn't help that they retail stores open their doors at 3 AM for a 6-hour sale, just so you can buy your dad that ridiculous hat he doesn't even want (you know you've done it).
So you say we're going through a recession and if the retail companies aren't making money, than the economy basically stops and the Great Depression is on our heels, but is it too much to ask everyone to CALM DOWN? Breathe-walk (don't run) and remember that the Holidays are here to promote, Peace, Love and Joy to the World. Is that too much to ask? (Don't answer, it's one of those rhetorical questions.)
Well if it is, then let's move on to another "theory" that was built to unite, but all it does is divide. Organized Religion. I swear, there is nothing more strange on this planet than the concept of "one love" producing genocide.
That's all I have to say on that. If no religion, no culture, no country has figured it out this far into the human existence, then I say...pack it in and pack it up. Sit down, crack open a beer and wait until Global Warming becomes more of a reality and we're all screwed! Then we'll see who is right :)
Salute! and Cheers!
Monday, December 1, 2008
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Political Cherry Popped
Well, either hell has frozen over or this election really was one for the history books, because I'm 27, born and raised in America and this was the first year I felt strongly enough that my voice and my vote needed to be heard.
Why wouldn't I vote you may be asking yourself about now-well, a little insight to Breezy-she to an extent believes in Conspiracy Theories. Now, hold on, don't condemn me just yet to the looney bin, please. Back in Art school (yes, I learned how to professionaly color within the lines), I had a crazy teacher whom I did not get along with, but taught me much (just like the cliche' goes). Anyway, he taught history (yes, even in art school, you learn the basics), but he taught more than history-he taught us about famous historical figures (mainly musicians and pop culture icons) who were made out to die from overdoses (Jimi Hendrix) or who went into the army (Elvis) at the height of their popularity.
Now the stories he would tell us about these figures seemed like there was no plausible way his information was wrong. Therefore, at the tender age of 19, I bought into and yet to this day, I do believe in some conspiracies, not necessarily ones he preached, but there are some that are more than just coincidences...you know you believe some of them too.
Anyway, so why this year, why this election...it comes down to 2 reasons: the first-I really can't stand the way McCain whistles while he talks and although Tina Fey and SNL are hilarious, I'm already burnt out on all the "dontcha knows"...
No seriously, I agree with the message of it's time for a change-now, this doesn't necessarily mean that I am a huge supporter, but being of not all WASP (no offense) heritage, it is time that this innovative, rich country start changing and finding what is going to work for the next generations.
Speaking of next generations, it was frightening (in a rad way) to hear some 10-yr old boys in my neighborhood talking about the Props and saying they wish they could vote because this is how they would vote. After hearing how passionate these young kids were about the country that we all live in...I figured that my immigrant mother's message finally was real.
We are a free country, very proud and being a woman in this country means more than in any other country (well except maybe the UK, hats off to you Queen Elizabeth II and Margaret Thatcher), my voice is just as important as the next individual.
So, I packed up Lola on her leash and we walked the 0.6 miles to the voting booth and cast our ballot. Even Lola got her I Voted sticker (the new fashion trend).
This really wasn't a GHF entry, but for a GHE girl like me-we can find the darker side of anything :)
Why wouldn't I vote you may be asking yourself about now-well, a little insight to Breezy-she to an extent believes in Conspiracy Theories. Now, hold on, don't condemn me just yet to the looney bin, please. Back in Art school (yes, I learned how to professionaly color within the lines), I had a crazy teacher whom I did not get along with, but taught me much (just like the cliche' goes). Anyway, he taught history (yes, even in art school, you learn the basics), but he taught more than history-he taught us about famous historical figures (mainly musicians and pop culture icons) who were made out to die from overdoses (Jimi Hendrix) or who went into the army (Elvis) at the height of their popularity.
Now the stories he would tell us about these figures seemed like there was no plausible way his information was wrong. Therefore, at the tender age of 19, I bought into and yet to this day, I do believe in some conspiracies, not necessarily ones he preached, but there are some that are more than just coincidences...you know you believe some of them too.
Anyway, so why this year, why this election...it comes down to 2 reasons: the first-I really can't stand the way McCain whistles while he talks and although Tina Fey and SNL are hilarious, I'm already burnt out on all the "dontcha knows"...
No seriously, I agree with the message of it's time for a change-now, this doesn't necessarily mean that I am a huge supporter, but being of not all WASP (no offense) heritage, it is time that this innovative, rich country start changing and finding what is going to work for the next generations.
Speaking of next generations, it was frightening (in a rad way) to hear some 10-yr old boys in my neighborhood talking about the Props and saying they wish they could vote because this is how they would vote. After hearing how passionate these young kids were about the country that we all live in...I figured that my immigrant mother's message finally was real.
We are a free country, very proud and being a woman in this country means more than in any other country (well except maybe the UK, hats off to you Queen Elizabeth II and Margaret Thatcher), my voice is just as important as the next individual.
So, I packed up Lola on her leash and we walked the 0.6 miles to the voting booth and cast our ballot. Even Lola got her I Voted sticker (the new fashion trend).
This really wasn't a GHF entry, but for a GHE girl like me-we can find the darker side of anything :)
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Return of the ToolBox...An Owl with Iron-Clad Panties
"I'm playing tennis tonight. "
"Oh, how funny, so am I."
"Oh...so is it like a date?"
"No, not really. Just playing tennis."
"Well, what's the difference between playing tennis and going out to dinner? You're both getting to know each other and wanting to get into each other's pants, right?"
"Not exactly."
"Yeah, whatever. I'll know when you get a boyfriend, because the phone calls will stop."
"No, because I called you yesterday."
"What are you saying? This guy is your boyfriend? You have a boyfriend now?"
"Yes, he is. Yes I do."
"Oh, well, I'll talk to you later."
What you have just read was a reenactment of a toolbox, being a douche bag :)
This gentlemen (if you want to call him that), was a really good guy. Sure things moved slower than me getting up at 4:45 AM to go running, but it was nice (sometimes). Other times it was dreadful. 2 words to sum up the frustration: Buddy Hug.
Dude LOVED giving the "buddy hug" at the end of the night. And Madge can attest to this-as after said frustrating hugs, I would call for back-up to help analyze the nights event and to catch onto anything that maybe I did that would guarantee a "buddy hug" rather than a "let's take this one step further, kiss good night".
But alas...failure after all my efforts to show this guy that I am (was) interested and enough with the buddy hugs, let's get down to it already. He actually has the audacity to tell me after above conversation that he was "courting me" for 8 months and that I was actually "cheating on him" by getting a boyfriend. Excuse e moi? Did I miss something? CHEATING? COURTING? WTF!!!???!!!
He then proceeded to tell me that he tried to kiss me on multiple occasions, but I was like "an owl with iron-clad panties on". DUMBFOUNDED. That's all I can say. WOW! There's another word I can say to describe how I was feeling. Allow me to throw this tidbit on the scene-he made it very clear that he does not do long-distance relationships (despite the fact that he's never had one) and considering him and I live 30 minutes away, this was (to him) a long-distance relationship. Fine. Boom goes the dynamite-not interested anymore, I'll take this and chalk it up to having a good guy as a friend and leave it at that. Apparently, I didn't get the memo where he was still interested!
Men, do me a favor...allow the balls to drop, use your mouth and voice what you want-just like you, women are not mind-readers. You want something, use your big boy words and just tell us. If you're interested, say you're interested. If you want a kiss, grab her face (because that is actually a turn-on) and freakin' kiss her already!!!
Stay tuned for more dysfunctional dating tactics, brought to you by the Douche Bags of America.
"Oh, how funny, so am I."
"Oh...so is it like a date?"
"No, not really. Just playing tennis."
"Well, what's the difference between playing tennis and going out to dinner? You're both getting to know each other and wanting to get into each other's pants, right?"
"Not exactly."
"Yeah, whatever. I'll know when you get a boyfriend, because the phone calls will stop."
"No, because I called you yesterday."
"What are you saying? This guy is your boyfriend? You have a boyfriend now?"
"Yes, he is. Yes I do."
"Oh, well, I'll talk to you later."
What you have just read was a reenactment of a toolbox, being a douche bag :)
This gentlemen (if you want to call him that), was a really good guy. Sure things moved slower than me getting up at 4:45 AM to go running, but it was nice (sometimes). Other times it was dreadful. 2 words to sum up the frustration: Buddy Hug.
Dude LOVED giving the "buddy hug" at the end of the night. And Madge can attest to this-as after said frustrating hugs, I would call for back-up to help analyze the nights event and to catch onto anything that maybe I did that would guarantee a "buddy hug" rather than a "let's take this one step further, kiss good night".
But alas...failure after all my efforts to show this guy that I am (was) interested and enough with the buddy hugs, let's get down to it already. He actually has the audacity to tell me after above conversation that he was "courting me" for 8 months and that I was actually "cheating on him" by getting a boyfriend. Excuse e moi? Did I miss something? CHEATING? COURTING? WTF!!!???!!!
He then proceeded to tell me that he tried to kiss me on multiple occasions, but I was like "an owl with iron-clad panties on". DUMBFOUNDED. That's all I can say. WOW! There's another word I can say to describe how I was feeling. Allow me to throw this tidbit on the scene-he made it very clear that he does not do long-distance relationships (despite the fact that he's never had one) and considering him and I live 30 minutes away, this was (to him) a long-distance relationship. Fine. Boom goes the dynamite-not interested anymore, I'll take this and chalk it up to having a good guy as a friend and leave it at that. Apparently, I didn't get the memo where he was still interested!
Men, do me a favor...allow the balls to drop, use your mouth and voice what you want-just like you, women are not mind-readers. You want something, use your big boy words and just tell us. If you're interested, say you're interested. If you want a kiss, grab her face (because that is actually a turn-on) and freakin' kiss her already!!!
Stay tuned for more dysfunctional dating tactics, brought to you by the Douche Bags of America.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
The Endless Torture
The Endless Torture or as some may call it their JOB. There is a difference between WORK and your JOB. Work is usually described as one's passion, "their life's work". Now a job? Well that I consider it an acronym for Juggling Others Bullshit.
Depending on your age, you have spent so many years juggling that not only is Barnum Bailey calling, but Cirque du Soleil just received your resume and you're their top candidate!
Juggling Others Bullshit is never a fun task and sure you gain experience (in order to juggle others bullshit), and it helps you survive (money makes the world go round), there are benefits (what? no dental!) and you may just meet your new best-friend there (Madge). But when you get down to it, it's all the same old bullshit wherever you go.
Now the next step in the vicious cycle...how to get your own bullshit for others to juggle for you...(insert circus-clown theme music here, grab another cup of coffee and sit at your desk pretending to work).
Friday, July 18, 2008
Freakshows. How Many Are There?
Calling All Freakshows!!! You can't run, you most definitely can't hide, so just MAN-UP and step forward. Not sure you're a Freak...keep reading for more information.
Freakshow Type #1:
Like talking about getting married, having a family, falling in love, blah, blah and YUCK! Yet, you don't call, don't make dates and suddenly you're singing a different tune? Then congratulations, you're the classic Bait and Swticher!
Freakshow Type #2:
On a second date asking about the ex-factor? Finding out more information than the diary or the therapist know about, yet you find yourself secretly wanting to fix them? Get Over Yourself!!! You're the total Cliche Dater!!!
Freakshow Type #3:
Have a great first date? Good for you! Do you now have their number on your speed-dial set as #1? Know their work schedule? Get Help! Because you have full on Stalker Status!
Stick around...more to come...
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Another Freakin' Monkey Wrench
Once again, I am utterly speechless with shock at the 'Monkey Wrench' the so-called "toolbox" threw at me. Having not heard from this person in weeks and actually changing the name in my phone to something that is a little less...complimentary (think more playground-esque).
I was enjoying a quiet evening with a friend and her fiance when..."Holy cow...he's calling me." My friend, being a great and understanding person (I think she was just waiting for the drama to unfold), told me to answer it.
Very long, (somewhat drawn-out, though entirely entertaining) story later...an apology came and he admitted that he somewhat fell off the face of the earth.
Being GHE and sticking true to this...I must admit that there is just a hint of BS detected in this very nice call/explanation/loads of excuses-but let's be honest here...I hear more from people who have cellphone mishaps than I do from this guy.
Not giving him the benefit of the doubt, although he did provide me with about 10 minutes of entertainment at his expense of course. Thanks for being big enough to laugh at yourself...because you know I'm laughing with/at you.
The question remains...should this guy have a chance?
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Nice Girls Finish Last 2 (As In Also)
"Nice guys finish last" huh? Well about the nice girls? They finish last too! Oh, I'm not talking about the "nice girls" that are described as "having a great personality" and in reality they're dogs...I mean, genuinely nice, cool, down-to-earth girls who get jerked around by a douche bag-that's the kind of nice girl I'm referring to.
If 2 wrongs don't make a right, than 2 nice people don't happen-because one person is always going to be a toolbox and more than likely (or in this situation, it's the guy).
Welcome to GHE readers! Where it's told like it should be and the games people play, get called out! Why do guys drag you along? What's the point? There's more energy lost in that and more headache than just telling the girl, "Hey, I'M JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU." The book is out there guys, your secrets are told...women can, believe it or not, can handle the truth.
Give up the ghost-just as the infamous Jimmy Soul sang about "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife..." WAIT....that's not right-what did he know anyway???
If nice guys finish last, then I don't want to be first.
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